Edition · December 22, 2024

Trump’s Sunday Made-For-TV Foreign Policy Tour Turned Into a Tariff-and-Sovereignty Mess

A Phoenix rally was supposed to be a victory lap. Instead, Trump used it to threaten the Panama Canal, remind the world he loves chaos, and hand critics a fresh argument that his second term could start with imperial cosplay and economic self-harm.

Trump’s Sunday rally in Phoenix produced the kind of off-the-cuff foreign-policy threat that sounds hilarious until allies, trading partners, and markets start taking notes. The Panama Canal line drew an immediate rejection from Panama’s president and reopened the question of whether Trump intends to govern by grievance, not diplomacy.

Closing take

If this was the warm-up act, the country should expect a second Trump term built on spectacle, escalation, and no small amount of international eye-rolling. The man who loves to call everything a deal keeps making the same old mistake: mistaking provocation for leverage.

Ranked by how bad the fuckup was

5 stars means maximum fallout. 1 star means a smaller self-own.

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Trump Doubles Down on Transgender Crackdown With Day-One Threats

★★★☆☆Fuckup rating 3/5 Major mess

In Phoenix, Trump promised executive orders to bar transgender people from the military and to make federal policy recognize only two genders. The pitch was catnip for the base, but it also telegraphed a second-term agenda built around culture-war punishment and legal fights that are almost guaranteed to follow.

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