Edition · May 31, 2026

The Daily Fuckup: Update for May 31, 2026

A thin update day, but the Trump-era paper trail still has one fresh ugly wrinkle: a settlement dressed up as justice and a banking order that keeps mixing policy with grievance.

This update adds one materially notable Trump-world item: the Justice Department’s new anti-weaponization fund, created as part of a settlement involving Trump and his family businesses. It is pitched as accountability, but it also turns a private grievance into a public-purpose template. No new duplicate coverage is added for the already-documented finance, fintech, public-lands, vaccine, or Comey stories.

Closing take

The throughline remains the same: Trumpworld keeps turning power into personal vindication and then selling the result as institutional reform. Sometimes there is a real policy point buried inside. The problem is that the packaging is so drenched in score-settling that it becomes hard to tell the fix from the feud.

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Ranked by how bad the fuckup was

5 stars means maximum fallout. 1 star means a smaller self-own.

Story

Comey indictment turns on whether a post crossed the line into a threat

★★★★☆Fuckup rating 4/5 Serious fuckup

A federal grand jury indicted James Comey on April 28, 2026, over a May 15, 2025 Instagram post showing seashells arranged as “86 47.” Prosecutors say the post was a threat against President Donald Trump; Comey says it was political commentary and he will fight the case.

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Story

Comey indicted over May 2025 Instagram post, DOJ says

★★★★☆Fuckup rating 4/5 Serious fuckup

Federal prosecutors say a grand jury indicted former FBI Director James Comey on April 28 over an Instagram post from May 15, 2025. Comey denies the allegations and says he will fight the case.

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Story

SDNY charges two North Macedonia nationals in Trump Bucks scam case

★★☆☆☆Fuckup rating 2/5 Noticeable stumble

Federal prosecutors in Manhattan say two North Macedonia residents were charged May 13 in separate indictments over an alleged fake “Trump Bucks” scheme. The Justice Department says the products had no connection to Trump, his campaign or the Trump Organization.

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Story

Trump’s public-lands order is real policy in a theater costume

★★☆☆☆Fuckup rating 2/5 Noticeable stumble

Trump’s May 29 order tells agencies to strip back what the White House calls unnecessary restrictions on access to federal lands and revisit off-road vehicle rules. The policy shift is real, but the administration is still selling it like a liberation epic instead of a procedural rollback.

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